Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
