so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
