I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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