she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize