Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
