he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
