I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
