Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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