I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize
