Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
