The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
