just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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