i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
