I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
