i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
