how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Damn victory sex feels great
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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