im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
