I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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