my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize