Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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