He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
