When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize