imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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