Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize