My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
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there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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