Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
