HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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