Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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