Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you made out with another girl for some wings
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize