Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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