I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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