I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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