at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
