so explain again why im purple
no
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
