So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
