"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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