i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
