I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
