Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize