bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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