I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
