LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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