Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
