I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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