he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
