I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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