holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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