2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
