I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im holly from the hills drunk
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
