My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
