So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
